Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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