I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
