jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
