just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
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Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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