week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
