Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
