the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
