Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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