sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
