who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
