Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
