The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
