You're completely useless in the revolution.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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