Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
