So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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