some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
