I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you never un-have a 4some
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
