were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
