Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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