OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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