dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
