Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
