I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
