i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
