Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
