If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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