I wish I could punch you in the face.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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