Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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