She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
