yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
