pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
