we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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