Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
