You just made me feel so damn special
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
