She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
