I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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