yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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