dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Life is so much better after having sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
