My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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