so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize