my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
