did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
