the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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