Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
