yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
