Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
