I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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