she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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