I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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