Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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