I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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