Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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