Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.