I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
