all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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