Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
