do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
