Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
