OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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