i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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