Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
