last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
