i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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