My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
