i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
