he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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