so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What a dumb baby whore.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize